apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
