Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize