It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
