So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
