i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
