Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize