I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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