i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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