it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
