Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
