McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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