I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
