we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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