Screwed.edu
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
