I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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