I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
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