Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
COCAINE IS GR8
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
