i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
