i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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