Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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