i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
