i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Randomize
