I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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