drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Plan B is the new Plan A
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
