Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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