he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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