Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
