It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
