Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize