You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Church boner. Awkwardddd
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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