good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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