I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
