I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
