Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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