it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
where does the pee come out of this thing
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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