I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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