It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
