you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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