okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
