Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
