We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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