I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We were destined to go to rehab together
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
