so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
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So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
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These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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