Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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