Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
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i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I need water and some morals
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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