So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
