yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I looked at my own cervix.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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