Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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