went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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