One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
