Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
