Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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