I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
