I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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