you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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