Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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