hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
