look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
