I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
