i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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