I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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