I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
