You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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