Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
