The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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