in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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