as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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