mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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